Writing & transmissions
The Loneliest I’ve ever been
Grief is one of the loneliest walks on earth. Every story and experience is so different. Every relationship unmatched. Every human so unique. And yet, everyone experiences this pain someway, somehow.
For years, while my mom went through cancer treatment, I watched others around me living their lives seemingly innocently and freely while I felt hopeless, heavy and alone, often thinking,
“Nobody gets it. No one knows what this feels like – to feel the weight of the unknown deep in my gut. To feel like I can’t make plans for my life or fully commit myself to the things I desire to experience because it could all take a turn at any moment, and then what will become of my life?! Of me?!”.
Even though I was doing a lot, I felt like I couldn’t give my full attention…
Big Updates To The Sanctuary Membership
I am so excited to share some amazing Sanctuary Membership updates with you!
In mid-winter, I got the nudge to start creating a space where you can sink into your own sacred tending, liberated expression process, with deep, heart-centered support as you walk through the highs and lows of your journey.
Each month has brought refinement and updating, and while the doors opened almost a month ago, that process has not ceased…
Grief Flows: Allow Yourself To Grieve + Heal
Grief Flows are an essential part of The Sanctuary because every time you say yes to grief or deep emotion, you create space for healing and evolution – as you engage, energy is liberated and the next wave, action, or state of being that wants to come through is allowed to emerge and lead you forward…
The Sanctuary Membership Opening Ceremony {Free Acess}
You can now access an audio-only version of the The Sanctuary Membership opening call here (free). This was an incredibly beautiful call that felt like a nourishing yet activating ceremony to awaken the fullness and shifts that are ready to be felt and lived through the members.
Right before we began, I was doing some automatic writing and the message that came through was, “Walk in love – in the love that fills and leads you – and allow yourself to be fully here, for this is a beautiful beginning.” At first I thought the message was just for me, but as the call unfolded, it became clear it was for the whole community and I want to share it with you.
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 3 (My Story)
Part 3 of my written story is finally ready (down below)!
The first 6 months after my mom died were a strange combination of feelings and energies: relief, shock, disorientation, aimlessnes, ungroundedness, exhaustion, as well as incredible presence, moments of joy, hope, and new life.
I now understand something I wasn’t able to understand at the time…
Easeful Connection and Nourishment
I’m currently at the end of a trip to Colorado visiting some of my best friends from college. While I am not ready to leave them, I woke up today so excited to kick off this membership community with the first Sacred Tending + Liberated Expression call on Wednesday, at 5pm ET / 2pm PT.
I planned this to be a special opening call that helps you lay the foundation for cultivating a deep, intimate, loving relationship with yourself and life, in the joyous and painful times (and everything in between).
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 2 (My Story)
In the meantime, I've continued to write my story, and part 2 (of 3) is ready for you today. Finding words to share everything that was stirring within for me in 2020 was a challenge. It was a year of profound exploration and emergence, as well as terrifying unknowns for the world and our family.
So much was coming to life that didn't fit with the outer reality yet, but it was a profoundly beautiful year for me personally, as I touched into a sense of inner aliveness I had never accessed before…
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 1 (My Story)
As I've been working on the finishing touches of The Sanctuary this week, I've heard the whispers of its origins nudging me to share more of my story, more of the indirect yet profound weavings that line everything I do, and will be alive in every live call offering and moment of connection in this community.
I've been working on a podcast for you that goes in depth into my story and background for a while (it's a long one), but this week, high-level pieces of the ‘journey to here’ are asking to be shared...
Your beingness is more than enough.
If you are grieving your relationship to your mother or child, the loss of a mother, child, or pregnancy, not being a mother, anticipating the loss of your mother, being in a different season of life than the mommas in your life, or feeling any other of the many other ‘grey areas of grief’ and pain that can arise today, I see you and am with you. May you you have space to move with all that is present today.
If you are craving some guided tending on your own time today, this morning's Grief Flow Ceremony was intimate and rich, and the replay is now available.
Come one, come all.
This Grief Flow was created as a landing place for however you wake up feeling Sunday - a place to move with any/all of the shades of ‘grief in the grey’ that I wrote about yesterday, a place for any pain or tension that needs a loving place to unravel so that you can tap into greater flow with yourself and Life as the day progresses.
In my experience, grief asks for presence, and one of the gifts of engaging with our grief is the open-hearted, enlivened presence and beingness we access a little more each time we open the grief-tending door and walk through.
Honoring Grief in the grey
Earlier this week, I did an instagram live (which I also edited and shared on the podcast yesterday – you can listen here) where I talked about the many shades of Mother's Day grief, and how so often, unless you are clearly mourning the loss of your mother or child, the complexity of your experience can feel like it doesn't quite fit.
As someone that is going on four Mother's Days without my mom, and am not yet a mom myself, it's fascinating to see this holiday through the ‘motherless’ now.
Mother’s Day grief Flow Ceremony
Every time I lead a Grief Flow, I am in awe of how powerful carving out specific time to allow yourself to move with grief, and for grief to move with you, is. It seems so simple, yet not something that feels easy or natural for most.
Emotions and energy connected to grief can build up..
Guided ‘Explore Your Essence’ Meditation
This centering meditation is a gentle and connective practice that is perfect to use any time (even daily) during the 'Emergence' or 'I am ALIVE' spheres of transformation, as explored in the last episode (episode 6) of The Fountain with Ellie Thomas podcast. Along with relaxing music, this meditation leads you through a simple visualization practice to release energy that isn't yours, call your energy back to your body, and then attune to what's ready to emerge and what's ready to release.
Meditation for Emotional release
The Meditation for Emotional Release is incredibly gentle, soothing, and offers guidance to begin to feel into parts of you that might be more ready to surface and be expressed than you realize.
EP #5. The Power of Emotional and energetic release {Podcast}
Fall is officially here in the US, and as we begin to explore the slow loosening and letting go of this season, I'm sharing all about The Power of Emotional + Energetic Release on the podcast this week (along with a bonus meditation on the podcast feed).
In episode 5 of the podcast, I take you on a journey, exploring the importance of releasing stuck and repressed emotion in order to: liberate VITALITY, tap into CREATIVITY, and connect with YOUR AUTHENTIC ENERGY.
EP #4. Allow Your Inner Wisdom to Emerge (+ Guided Meditation) {Podcast}
Last night I had the pleasure and honor of leading a short contemplative meditation at a community dinner. Afterwards, my seat mate asked me how I got into meditation and mindfulness. I shared with him that early in my conscious transformational journey, about 5 years ago, guided meditation really helped me connect with parts of myself beyond my (very active and quick) mind - which was in constant panic and overwhelm at the time.
I also shared with him that now in my own practice, and in my work as a facilitator, I've learned that all I need to do is create space to return to (and attune to) the heart.
THE REST WILL UNFOLD NATURALLY…
EP #3. Open To Your Fullness {Podcast}
Welcome back to The Fountain! This episode is an exploration inspired by a session with one of my clients and gets into the energetics of "making space again" after periods of massive inner (and life) shifts, grief, and loss.
I explore the importance of allowing ourselves to fully grieve and mourn, to fully be in our process of release, to arrive into the gift of opening to life again. I touch into the nuances of what this opening can feel like, and how to observe and work with the energy of "making space again" when it arises for you.
EP #2. Making Space Again After Grief, Loss, and Immense Inner Shifts {Podcast}
What does opening to our fullness even mean or look like?
This episode of the fountain explores what our "fullness" even means, reclaiming it from the idealized vision that is often touted in the current personal growth or spiritual world, and offering space to invite pieces of yourself that you've shut out to slowly reincorporate. The episode begins and ends with a brief meditative and breathing practice to anchor into your energy and to embody this message in your own way. I also explore energies of resistance, expansion, flow, and letting go.
EP #1. Introducing My New Podcast: The Fountain with Ellie Thomas
I have a really exciting announcement today - a project I have been playing with since mid-March is finally ready to be shared with you!
After 5 months of listening, exploring, advancing, and then retracting and refining until it felt more clear, The Fountain with Ellie Thomas Podcast is LIVE 🎉🎧✨. Here’s the story of how it came to be…