Writing & transmissions
The Loneliest I’ve ever been
Grief is one of the loneliest walks on earth. Every story and experience is so different. Every relationship unmatched. Every human so unique. And yet, everyone experiences this pain someway, somehow.
For years, while my mom went through cancer treatment, I watched others around me living their lives seemingly innocently and freely while I felt hopeless, heavy and alone, often thinking,
“Nobody gets it. No one knows what this feels like – to feel the weight of the unknown deep in my gut. To feel like I can’t make plans for my life or fully commit myself to the things I desire to experience because it could all take a turn at any moment, and then what will become of my life?! Of me?!”.
Even though I was doing a lot, I felt like I couldn’t give my full attention…
Big Updates To The Sanctuary Membership
I am so excited to share some amazing Sanctuary Membership updates with you!
In mid-winter, I got the nudge to start creating a space where you can sink into your own sacred tending, liberated expression process, with deep, heart-centered support as you walk through the highs and lows of your journey.
Each month has brought refinement and updating, and while the doors opened almost a month ago, that process has not ceased…
Grief Flows: Allow Yourself To Grieve + Heal
Grief Flows are an essential part of The Sanctuary because every time you say yes to grief or deep emotion, you create space for healing and evolution – as you engage, energy is liberated and the next wave, action, or state of being that wants to come through is allowed to emerge and lead you forward…
The Sanctuary Membership Opening Ceremony {Free Acess}
You can now access an audio-only version of the The Sanctuary Membership opening call here (free). This was an incredibly beautiful call that felt like a nourishing yet activating ceremony to awaken the fullness and shifts that are ready to be felt and lived through the members.
Right before we began, I was doing some automatic writing and the message that came through was, “Walk in love – in the love that fills and leads you – and allow yourself to be fully here, for this is a beautiful beginning.” At first I thought the message was just for me, but as the call unfolded, it became clear it was for the whole community and I want to share it with you.
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 3 (My Story)
Part 3 of my written story is finally ready (down below)!
The first 6 months after my mom died were a strange combination of feelings and energies: relief, shock, disorientation, aimlessnes, ungroundedness, exhaustion, as well as incredible presence, moments of joy, hope, and new life.
I now understand something I wasn’t able to understand at the time…
Easeful Connection and Nourishment
I’m currently at the end of a trip to Colorado visiting some of my best friends from college. While I am not ready to leave them, I woke up today so excited to kick off this membership community with the first Sacred Tending + Liberated Expression call on Wednesday, at 5pm ET / 2pm PT.
I planned this to be a special opening call that helps you lay the foundation for cultivating a deep, intimate, loving relationship with yourself and life, in the joyous and painful times (and everything in between).
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 2 (My Story)
In the meantime, I've continued to write my story, and part 2 (of 3) is ready for you today. Finding words to share everything that was stirring within for me in 2020 was a challenge. It was a year of profound exploration and emergence, as well as terrifying unknowns for the world and our family.
So much was coming to life that didn't fit with the outer reality yet, but it was a profoundly beautiful year for me personally, as I touched into a sense of inner aliveness I had never accessed before…
The Untold Unraveling that Catalyzed IT ALL, part 1 (My Story)
As I've been working on the finishing touches of The Sanctuary this week, I've heard the whispers of its origins nudging me to share more of my story, more of the indirect yet profound weavings that line everything I do, and will be alive in every live call offering and moment of connection in this community.
I've been working on a podcast for you that goes in depth into my story and background for a while (it's a long one), but this week, high-level pieces of the ‘journey to here’ are asking to be shared...
Your beingness is more than enough.
If you are grieving your relationship to your mother or child, the loss of a mother, child, or pregnancy, not being a mother, anticipating the loss of your mother, being in a different season of life than the mommas in your life, or feeling any other of the many other ‘grey areas of grief’ and pain that can arise today, I see you and am with you. May you you have space to move with all that is present today.
If you are craving some guided tending on your own time today, this morning's Grief Flow Ceremony was intimate and rich, and the replay is now available.
Come one, come all.
This Grief Flow was created as a landing place for however you wake up feeling Sunday - a place to move with any/all of the shades of ‘grief in the grey’ that I wrote about yesterday, a place for any pain or tension that needs a loving place to unravel so that you can tap into greater flow with yourself and Life as the day progresses.
In my experience, grief asks for presence, and one of the gifts of engaging with our grief is the open-hearted, enlivened presence and beingness we access a little more each time we open the grief-tending door and walk through.
Honoring Grief in the grey
Earlier this week, I did an instagram live (which I also edited and shared on the podcast yesterday – you can listen here) where I talked about the many shades of Mother's Day grief, and how so often, unless you are clearly mourning the loss of your mother or child, the complexity of your experience can feel like it doesn't quite fit.
As someone that is going on four Mother's Days without my mom, and am not yet a mom myself, it's fascinating to see this holiday through the ‘motherless’ now.
Mother’s Day grief Flow Ceremony
Every time I lead a Grief Flow, I am in awe of how powerful carving out specific time to allow yourself to move with grief, and for grief to move with you, is. It seems so simple, yet not something that feels easy or natural for most.
Emotions and energy connected to grief can build up..
Releasing striving to embody flow
From Oct-Dec ‘23 I moved through the exposure, pruning and pulling, and then full release of yet another level and hold (!!!!! - what felt like the deepest possible) that the invasive root of striving had on my life and energy.
On a very human (survival) level: striving to achieve, to arrive, for the sake of feeling fully loved, feeling good enough, feeling secure and free of the pressure I placed on myself and had created as a defense mechanism.
On a spiritual, divine soul level: striving to BE, to take up my full space in the physical, to experience what I can FEEL is alive in my many dimensions and part of why I am here on Earth.
The Frequency of Transformation (An exploration of Shifts, Openings, Awareness & Clarity)
You see, finding the words to convey the subtle yet profound impact of transformational experiences (anything and everything ranging from teachings and guidance, mentorship, dance parties, conversations, travels, massages…all of it)is an art I will be studying for the rest of my life.
As someone that has been the client or coach in hundreds of hours of transformative sessions (and other experiences thus far), I can tell you that the most impactful experiences feel impossible to capture through words.
Instead, the shifts/openings/awareness/clarity that is accessed vibrates in the body and energy field…
The ‘Make Space for The New’ Workshop is available now!
This workshop is POWERFUL!! It is a 65-minute, full-on, soul-connecting guided meditation, journaling, and intuitive movement (or creative expression) experience that I curated it to support you as you shift from one life season to the next.
As you immerse yourself in the music and connective guidance, you'll tap into gentle yet deep release that will allow you to access an incredible sense of inner refreshment, connection, energy, and clarity as you look toward the future…
Let’s Go Wisdom Foraging
I have a potent exercise for you to try today:
Pause for a moment, standing right where you are today, and imagine you are standing in the middle of the forrest of your life.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath, feeling the fresh air circulate in your lungs and body.
When you’re ready, open your eyes again. What do you see all around you?
First look down at your feet, see them connected with the Earth. Then allow your vision to expand outward…
Creating Supported Spaciousness
As we ease into 2024, there is so much to move with. While the cultural narrative is closer to a head first dive into the new year, I see January as a transition, offering space to fully process where we have been and what has brought us to this moment, here, now. In this processing, completion and release are invited organically, and space to explore the new becomes available.
It's easy to want to want to skip this step, but there is a deeply rich and recalibrating exploration available to us at this time – an exploration that allows us to meet and receive the wisdom cultivated through challenging and blissful moments, while still staying open to new possibilities.
Music + Intuitive Movement = Grief Medicine {Grief•Flow}
If I don’t make space for my grief to flow, the greater flow of my mental and physical energy stagnates, as does my connection to the Divine and to creativity. If grief doesn’t have space to flow, I feel muted and closed off to intimacy with my loved ones, without words to express and share my heart. If I haven’t made space for grief to flow, my body and energy feel flat and my eyes tired.
Finding the ways and spaces where I feel free to really sink into grief, sometimes for 5 minutes, other times for as long as needed, has been a work in progress. I find it is so much easier to connect to it and offer it space when I don’t feel alone, when I am held in love by someone else, or by music…
EP #1. Introducing My New Podcast: The Fountain with Ellie Thomas
I have a really exciting announcement today - a project I have been playing with since mid-March is finally ready to be shared with you!
After 5 months of listening, exploring, advancing, and then retracting and refining until it felt more clear, The Fountain with Ellie Thomas Podcast is LIVE 🎉🎧✨. Here’s the story of how it came to be…