I don’t simply want to be alive, I want to LIVE.

My pain led me to the water of living. More specifically, my pain carried me to a point of internal collapse in 2018 where I found myself saying “I can’t live like this anymore” over and over again. Despite my deepest fears, in order to consciously choose life, I had no other option but to open to my pain – to open my arms to it, and embrace it fully for the first time ever. I couldn’t run from it, block it, push it down any longer. If I wanted to live fully, which I did (even though I didn’t really know what that meant or felt like), I no longer had room in my being to do ignore my pain.